Text and Reply

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So I texted my friend and this is the response I got. I'm not surprised by her response.  Insults are how we talk and we love The Office, so this picture was completely appropriate! .....Plus it was 12:29 at night

My Last Meal on Death Row

I'm on death row.  I'm going to assume I murdered someone and then mysteriously blacked out but the evidence must all be there.  Either way, I'm about to go out with a bang! Here's my last meal on death row:

First things first: 

Appetizers

Auntie Anne's Original Pretzel Nuggets (with butter DUH!) ...............390 

 

Wash it down with a cold 32 oz Wild Cherry Icee.................................290

Now to the entree:

Chipotle Burrito Bowl 

(Brown rice, black beans, steak, mild, sour cream, cheese, lettuce)..........................750 

Served with an ice cold 16 oz. Sprite...................................................192

Side item:

Chips & Guac.........................................................................740 (whoa Sally, just realized that)

And Finally Dessert:

Chick-fil-a Cookies and Cream Milkshake....make it a large..............690

Plus  Girl Scout Cookies!

Samoas............................................the whole box..............................2,100 (OUCH)

(can't believe I ate the whole box! Can't believe I killed someone too, maybe?)

And to top it off

One glass bottled Coca-Cola.................................................................95

TOTAL..................................................................................................5,247

So flip the switch boys! These calories don't count!

The Love (of my life) Note

The love of my life walks into the bar…what do I do? Luckily, I came straight to the bar after my portfolio class and therefore have a sharpie ready in hand. I quickly scribble something down onto a cocktail napkin hoping to catch this stranger’s attention.  I get the bartender to deliver my message.  

This is what I put and why

With few exceptions, the truth is…. everyone loves their grandparents!  Grandparents are like your parents, but better.  They’re cooking is better.  Their rules aren’t as strict.  They give gifts and money for no reason. 

Maybe it’s because they forget they already slipped us a twenty-dollar bill…. maybe they’re trying to make up for the bad job they did as parents. You know, better luck the second go around. …..Or maybe it’s just because when they get tired of us, the grandkids, they can return us to our parents and continue to live the ultimate life of a retiree. No matter the reason, fact is: grandparents love to spoil their grandkids, and therefore grandkids LOVE grandparents.

Do I know his grandparents? Ha, of course not!

I’m mean, let’s face it- if he is the one, they’re going to be my grandparents someday too!

Eight Colors in My Crayon Box